We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
