Your dad touched me again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
