Sponge bath it is.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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