i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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