I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
