we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
