I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize