Only a mothe r could love this liver
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
