I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
