i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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