never play flip cup with pint glasses
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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