you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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