idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
