yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
