were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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