You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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