uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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