Where did you get a picture of my penis
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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