I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
