My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
