I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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