i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize