I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize