One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
