best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We just shotgunned beers for America
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I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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