He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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