after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
