A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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