He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
