Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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