my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
