Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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