reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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