shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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