Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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