So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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