I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
