i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize