suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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