I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
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Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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