people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
