Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
