we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
