toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
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Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize