Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
