he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize