omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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