This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone