What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!