Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now