Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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