I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
