I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
