The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
