I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize