I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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