so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
